Wednesday, 2 January 2013

Starting the New Year Crawling Out From Under a Relapse

It's day two of the New Year and I am only just crawling out from under my latest relapse.  I thought I was on an even keel health wise, having recovered from the flu that swept through me back in October, but how wrong I was.  I invited my sister over for dinner on 27th December, but it was all too much for me; far, far too much.  So I've been sleeping almost non-stop since then and in a lot of pain with joints and back.

But I'm feeling less dead today, so have been thinking about what I want from 2013.  While I don't make resolutions specifically for the New Year, I am always setting myself new goals and I am a constant dreamer.  My main goal for the coming weeks is to get some kind of routine down; I seem to be in a boom and bust cycle at the moment.  I need to establish a base level of what I can do and then try to gradually incorporate more activity from there.  This was my goal for 2012, but I more or less spent the year on the roller coaster of ME/CFS with little or no control.

I know this is possible, because I've done it before; I managed to live not just a relatively normal life, but a wonderful one.  I just went a little crazy and forgot I had ME/CFS and came crashing back down to Earth.  But you live you learn, and I won't make the same mistakes next time.

I just want life to be easier and happier; less stressful.  Rather than setting myself huge goals for the whole year, month or even week, I think it's time to take it one day at a time and push forward that way.  My focus is not just on health, but on work, writing, relationships and happiness.  I want to enjoy my life, rather than always planning for the day when I will be able to do, or when I will have, etc etc.  Just focusing on daily activities will take the stress off, no matter what.

So, I'm feeling sluggish, but hopeful.  Happy New Year, may each day be wonderful in it's own right and one step closer to the fulfilment of dreams!

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