Tuesday, 22 January 2013

A Positive ME/CFS Sufferer or a Negative One

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I’ve been asking myself a lot recently if I’m a positive ME/CFS sufferer or a negative one.  What do I mean by this?  The whole purpose of writing this blog and my other articles is that I’ve wanted to be able to provide a relatable account for other sufferers.  When I first became ill, talking to and reading about other sufferers is what helped me the most.  I’ve always felt it was my duty to put my story out there.  Before I come across as too much of a martyr, it has also helped me immensely to write about my experiences.  Actually, at first it was really painful to write about ME/CFS, but now it is easier and helps, especially when things aren’t so good.  Recently they haven’t been so good and that is what brings me back to wondering if I’m a positive ME/CFS sufferer or negative one.

Ideally, I’d love to think of myself as writing hopeful posts which have a positive effect on readers, but the truth is my experiences are not always positive and I’m not always emotionally or mentally in a place to be able to put that kind of a spin on them.  So, sometimes - more so recently – it seems all I have to write about is the darker side of being an ME/CFS sufferer.  So, I find myself going to and fro between wondering how awful it is to dwell on the bad so much and thinking that negative or positive, it is an honest account of my experiences.

The truth of the matter is that there is no such thing as a positive or a negative ME/CFS sufferer, all that happens is being ill and spending too much time alone drives us to think too much and to question the most ridiculous aspects of our lives. 

Like I’m doing now.

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