Showing posts with label mourning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mourning. Show all posts

Wednesday, 23 January 2013

ME/CFS and Deeper Shades of Birthday Blues

Image Credit

For as long as I can remember I've never really cared for my birthday, and that sentiment has only become worse since I became ill.  That dreaded annual event rolled around again two days ago and I felt so down for weeks prior to it.  I’m 37 years old and I’m ill again and I just felt so tired, old and useless.  I rarely feel that way, but something about my birthday brings out the most dispirited side of me.

I was 25 when ME/CFS hit; I had love, laughter, friendship, a career in a brilliant company and plans, lots and lots of plans.  All of that went away for 10 years, so I was in my mid-thirties by the time I next resurfaced.  I managed to catch up a little but then I drowned again and now it seems the closer I get to 40, the more I feel the loss of that time.