Repeating Mistakes: Not Giving ME/CFS Its Dues

Just before Christmas I wrote A New Lesson in Loneliness For a ME/CFS Sufferer where I talked about not giving the illness its dues and how I would try to be more aware.  Not even a fortnight after that, I was making the same mistakes again.  A friend contacted me recently and told me that he will be visiting London with his girlfriend at the end of the month for a long weekend.  I was so excited and we were happily making plans for all the things we would do while they were here.  I vowed to keep my schedule free and make myself available while they were over.

The next day I went out for a walk and I have had a sore hip since then and yesterday nerve pain flared up in my thigh.  It was a painful reminder that once again I had totally forgotten that I have ME/CFS.  I don't understand how I keep doing this these days.  I lived years only being aware of my illness and symptoms; they ruled everything I did.  Now, it is almost like I forget I am ill; it stares me in the face all day every day and still I don't notice it.