The Issue of Weight and ME/CFS

I'm having an awful day after sleeping very little.  I woke up several times because I developed a headache during the night.  (How the hell does one do that while asleep?!!!)  I woke up with such a painful thigh and hip that it took me a while to get up and moving this morning.  So I'm feeling down and not really able to think much and get any writing done.  But it seems my mental paralysis does not cover obsessing about my weight today.

I've never been a skinny girl and before I became ill, I didn't even know how much I weighed.  I was very comfortable in my body; I used to workout when I wanted to and eat what I wanted to.  I was healthy and happy and I had never been on a diet in my life.  Then I became ill and I piled on the pounds and that was when my weight became an issue. If I loved to eat and put on weight because of that I wouldn't have cared; if my weight had changed because of any single thing that I had done, I wouldn't have cared.  But if anything I was eating less and in the first six months of being ill I had stomach bugs and flu symptoms almost continuously.  My ballooning body was just another example of how my body was becoming alien to me.